Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole

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  (615): my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole http://tfl.nu/xvf4
  Replies (36) Good night (1207) Bad night (1676)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know

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  (727): a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know http://tfl.nu/finx
  Replies (35) Good night (4423) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  well most of my day revolves around power hour

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  (856): well most of my day revolves around power hour http://tfl.nu/z7v2
  Replies (6) Good night (3375) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?

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  (614): Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit? http://tfl.nu/zum7
  Replies (35) Good night (1658) Bad night (5661)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.

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  (613): She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard". (202): Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded. http://tfl.nu/4upv
  Replies (39) Good night (6981) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...

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  (773): i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is... http://tfl.nu/4q16
  Replies (4) Good night (2562) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters

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  (517): He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters http://tfl.nu/qui3
  Replies (7) Good night (2621) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.

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  (334): How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE. http://tfl.nu/y183
  Replies (11) Good night (4110) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!

  (940): View more from Texas

  HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.

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  (940): My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!! (940): HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT. http://tfl.nu/347l
  Replies (8) Good night (2168) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.

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  (210): Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it. http://tfl.nu/gvf3
  Replies (8) Good night (680) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  ...

  (281): View more from Texas

  Exactly.

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  (281): She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick... (832): ... (281): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/w9ox
  Replies (9) Good night (846) Bad night (1786)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with

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  (518): You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with http://tfl.nu/vbdb
  Replies (5) Good night (2139) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant

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  (702): The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant http://tfl.nu/bd42
  Replies (9) Good night (1185) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.

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  (262): You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM. http://tfl.nu/legz
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me

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  (970): Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me http://tfl.nu/8oqe
  Replies (3) Good night (1640) Bad night (435)

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