i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
