Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
handjob tips. give me some.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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