At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
