party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's Friday. Sex?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
