i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
