Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
