You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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