We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
