I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
