i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
