White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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