is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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