in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
