my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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