you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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