doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
false alarm, still single
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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