turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
