im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
