But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's like God shit irony all over that family
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
