she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
