weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
