Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
