No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
