I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
