Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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