Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
