Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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