So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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