Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
