The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me