puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk