Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
