She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
