its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
