Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
