I think im going to throw up on grandma
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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