i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
