So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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