I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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