Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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