well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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