Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
