actually, I'm a sock model
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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