Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's on the porch naked. Help.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
