i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
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Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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