My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
