U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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