You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The feeling are messing with the penis
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
