oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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