so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
