I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
