Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
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Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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