i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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