oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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