mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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