remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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